When we think of workplace harrassment, we think of a boss demanding favors from a subordinate in exchange for job security. But there are many forms of harrassment all of which are now recognised in current sexual harrassment legislation. These incidents are frowned upon at the place where I work, and people reported for such things are dismissed. Of course, the key word here is reported. Those people who don't get reported continue to get away with harrassing individuals they work with.
I have worked where I work for 14 years, and in those 14 years I have had 3 such incidents occur, and one other that may occur sometime soon. The three incidents have remained secret until now, here on this web page, the people involved no longer work for the companies they worked for at the time. I do not excuse myself for not reporting them, other than to say at the time I did not know what to do.
If and when the other incident happens, believe me, that person will be reported.I'm not going to use any names here, that really wouldn't be sporting, would it? I'm not writing this web page for revenge; I'm writing it to help me heal from things that have happened to me in the past. "Revenge is mine, saith the Lord"
The first person was a warehouse employee who asked me for a date. I invited him to dinner. When he arrived, dinner was the last thing on his mind, because when I said no to his advances, he left without eating, even though he had said he understood why I didn't want sex on the first date. He asked me out several times after that, but not on a real date; he asked me directly to go to a motel with him. I said no every time and eventually told him I wasn't interested. He then began to bug me a bit, to show up in my department for no reason, minor stalking, like standing just inside the warehouse doors and watching me through the window. It was unnerving, believe me, but as far as I knew, I had no recourse, and at the time I thought it couldn't be called sexual harrassment, because he wasnt my boss. This went on the entire time he worked there (approximately 6 months). He left and came back and picked up where he left off. Fortunately, after he left the second time (he was dismissed for harrassing someone else; I never reported him), he never returned.
The second guy was the warehouse manager, and he had a reputation of harrassing every woman in the store. No one escaped his sexual inuendo. He was not very particular; he talked that way to every woman. At first I was extremely offended by his manor, then after awhile I just got used to it, and for the most part ignored it. Most of it was just inuendo anyway. The only times it crossed the line for me was the two times he asked me to go to a motel with him for sex, both times I refused, saying I didn't go out with married men (yes he was married). I never thought he was serious, especially about me, since I was "fat and ugly", but when an employee of mine quit because she felt he was harrassing her, I had to stop and think. What I had considered to be harmless gutter talk really disturbed this girl.
The third person was a delivery driver who delivered food and supplies to my work when I was the manager of a Coffee shop for 3 years. He was an older man, very friendly. I mistook his kindness and concern for me for "fatherly" intention. That was until he made a pass at me in my office. I ducked out from under his embrace and bolted out the door, back into the main part of the restaurant where there were other people. I never said anything to anyone about it. It happened 3 or 4 more times, then after that, I made excuses to go to the restroom while he was making his delivery, and let a male co-worker sign in the shipment.